Sober stars who WON’T be raising a glass this New Year’s Eve

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For those with a New Year’s resolution of adding a little spice to their life, a sex expert has revealed the kinkiest new bedroom trends for 2025.

Dr Jessica O’Reilly, a sexologist and relationship expert, serves up five ‘novel approaches’ to sex, which she promises will lead to a more fulfilling experience between the sheets.

To enhance arousal and pleasure, Dr O’Reilly advises trying ‘multisensory integration,’ which involves stimulating sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell, while having sex. 

This, she says, will ‘create richer and more fulfilling experiences.’ 

Among her other top tips, Dr O’Reilly advises people to incorporate adventurous positions, music and even erotic art to ramp up their sex lives. 

She wrote for Astro Glide: ‘As we approach 2025, new year’s resolutions begin to take center-stage. Goals often relate to fitness, diet, finances, travel and daily practices with health and self-improvement topping the list of planned commitments. 

‘Relationships and sex may not claim top spots among resolutions despite the fact that prioritizing intimacy, pleasure, and connection can be just as transformative. 

‘Of course, the best sex of your life isn’t just about the physical act itself, but is intertwined with emotional connection, exploring desires, cultivating confidence, and embracing curiosity and playfulness.’

Dr Jessica O’Reilly, who is based out of Toronto, advises trying out ‘multisensory integration’, which involves stimulating sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell, while having sex

Estimates suggest nearly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and sexual satisfaction – or rather dissatisfaction –  is a major driver for calling its quits, so keeping things interesting in the bedroom could be marriage-saving. 

Ignite the senses 

To keep things spicy, Dr O’Reilly first recommends visual stimulation. She suggests using ‘ambient lighting like dimmable lamps, colored lightbulbs or candles to create a visually appealing environment.’

For an even bolder approach, she says you can also consider ‘hanging erotic art or playing sexy videos in the background’ while being intimate with a partner.

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Next, Dr O’Reilly recommends ‘auditory enhancement,’ writing that sound can be a turn on.

She advises making a music playlist with tracks on it that ‘move you.’

To ignite a little more passion, she adds: ‘You may opt for rhythms that guide your hips or symphonies that create crescendos of emotion. 

‘Use whispered affirmations and erotic storytelling to set the mood.’

Next, Dr O’Reilly looks at how you can make touch more than just skin-to-skin contact with a range of different objects, from textured bed linens to silky lingerie. 

The relationship expert explains: ‘Introduce varied textures through bedding, clothing and accessories. 

‘Silk sheets, velvet cushions or textured blindfolds and restraints can provide novel sensations. 

‘Incorporate temperature play with warmed or cooled objects to stimulate nerve endings.’

Spicing things up for the New Year, sexologist Dr Jessica O’Reilly has revealed some of her top sex kinks for 2025

To ‘play with cooling sensations across the entire body,’ Dr O’Reilly’s top tip is storing lubricant in the fridge before a rendezvous.

In terms of igniting your sense of smell, scented candles, essential oils and incense sticks are among her suggestions.

And when it comes to which scent to pick, she says vanilla, jasmine, peppermint and sandalwood are associated with heightened arousal. 

Lastly, when it comes to incorporating taste into sex, she suggests incorporating flavored lubes, edible body paints and aphrodisiac foods such as oysters, chocolates and strawberries into your routine.

And one bedroom tool Dr O’Reilly says is essential: lube, which can be used for ‘sensory mapping.’ 

She explains: ‘Lube can be more than just a practical tool – it’s an invitation to explore your partner’s body in new and exciting ways through pleasure mapping. 

‘This practice involves discovering areas of the body that bring the most pleasure when touched, kissed, or stimulated. 

‘By adding a few drops of lube, you can heighten sensations and transform even familiar areas into sources of unexpected pleasure.’ 

She suggests starting out by applying a small amount of lube to various areas of your partner’s body such as their neck, inner arms, lower back, or thighs. 

Then, you can follow on by ‘gently exploring each area using your hands, lips, or even a makeup brush, while observing their reactions.’

To make the process more ‘playful and exploratory,’ Dr O’Reilly says you can invite your partner to close their eyes so that they can ‘tune into the experience.’

Touching on the benefits of ‘sensory mapping,’ she concludes: ‘It is more than physical – it’s a way to deepen intimacy, understanding and connection. 

‘By combining touch with attentive listening to your partner’s responses, you create a shared journey of discovery, celebrating new pathways to pleasure and strengthening your bond.’

Switch up oral sex 

Two more of Dr O’Reilly’s sex tips for 2025 look at different methods of oral sex. 

Her first technique, called ‘the joystick,’ involves the receiver using their hands on the back of the giver’s head to move them around ‘like a joystick, directing the pace, rhythm, and intensity to align with their desires’.

To increase intimacy further, Dr O’Reilly advises maintaining eye contact when possible and for both parties to use ‘tantalizing verbal affirmations.’ 

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Different sounds or words, she says, will allow the receiver to ‘communicate enthusiasm,’ while they can be used by the server to ‘reinforce their willingness to give pleasure.’

Dr O’Reilly predicts the other type of oral sex that will be on trend in 2025 is ‘irrumatio.’

She explains this is a variation where the receiver takes the lead, ‘guiding the motion as their penis enters their partner’s mouth at their preferred pace and depth.’

As this puts the receiver in control, she warns as with any intimate activity, ‘open communication about desires, limits, and boundaries is essential before engaging.’

In scenarios where verbal safe words may not be feasible she advises establishing non-verbal signals – such as snapping fingers or raising a hand – in advance. 

Go to the brink of pleasure 

Dr O’Reilly’s final top kink for the New Year is a sexual technique called ‘edging.’

Edging is the practice of stimulating yourself or your partner to the point of climax but stopping just before reaching orgasm, resulting in greater sexual pleasure. 

Along with feeling ‘localized intensity,’ Dr O’Reilly says this technique – which can be repeated multiple times – gives a ‘full-body wave of pleasure from prolonged stimulation.’

She adds: ‘In addition to intensified physical sensations, the emotional overwhelm of edging can take pleasure and connection to new heights. 

‘For couples, edging fosters communication, trust, and intimacy by encouraging mutual exploration and anticipation. It can also allow for extended states of arousal to amplify desire and deepening emotional vulnerability.’

Chinese New Year

The UN agency UNESCO recognises the art of crafting and playing the rubab as intangible cultural heritage in Afghanistan, Iran, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan

Wood shavings littered the floor of Sakhi’s cramped workshop in the Afghan city of Herat as another rubab, the national musical instrument of his homeland, took shape under his deft hands.

Sakhi has crafted two rubabs a month for decades, and he refuses to set down his tools even as a Taliban crackdown strangles music in Afghanistan.

“I know only this work and I need to make money somehow,” said Sakhi, surrounded by rubabs in different stages of completion.

But far more important to him than money is the “cultural value”, said the craftsman in his fifties, whose name has been changed for his safety along with those of others interviewed by AFP.

“The value of this work for me is… the heritage it holds. The heritage must not be lost,” he said.

The UN agency UNESCO agrees, recognising in December the art of crafting and playing the rubab as intangible cultural heritage in Afghanistan, Iran, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan.

Made of dried mulberry wood and often inlaid with mother-of-pearl, the lute-like rubab is one of the oldest instruments in the region, its twanging sound stretching back thousands of years.

But that heritage is threatened in Afghanistan under the Taliban authorities’ near-total ban on music, considered corrupting in their strict interpretation of Islamic law.

Since coming to power in 2021, Taliban authorities have banned music in public, from performances to playing tracks in restaurants, in cars or on radio and TV broadcasts.

They have shuttered music schools and smashed or burned musical instruments and sound systems.

Many Afghan musicians fled out of fear or in need of work after losing their livelihoods in one of the world’s poorest countries where jobs are scarce.

The Taliban authorities have encouraged former musicians to turn their talents to Islamic poetry and unaccompanied vocal chants — also the only forms of music allowed under their previous rule from 1996-2001.

– ‘Peace to the soul’ –

Amateur rubab player Gull Agha has a picture of his teacher from that time, the pieces of his rubab broken by Taliban authorities cradled in his lap.

Since their return, Taliban morality police have also destroyed one of Gull Agha’s rubabs and made him swear to stop playing.

But he still sometimes strums a rubab he made himself for tourists visiting Herat, long a cradle of art and culture in Afghanistan, though he laments that it slips easily out of tune.

“The main thing that motivates me to continue playing the rubab is to make a contribution to Afghanistan — we should not let the skills of our country be forgotten,” he said.

Rubab is a string instrument made from dried mulberry wood from deserts

But as professional musicians went into exile and his former students saw no future in practising, he fears the craft will atrophy.

“It’s our duty to pass on our local music to the next generations as our ancestors passed it down to us,” said the 40-year-old.

“Rubab is an art… art brings peace to the soul.”

He started playing more than 20 years ago during a music revival in Afghanistan after the end of the previous Taliban rule.

At that time, organisations to support artists sprung up in the country.

Mohsen, a long-standing artists’ union member, choked back tears as he recalled how their musicians were always “a fixture of the happy moments in people’s lives”.

“Unfortunately, happiness has been taken from this nation as well as from the artists,” he said.

Mohsen is still optimistic about the future of the rubab in Afghanistan, saying musicians inside and outside the country have been spurred to keep its traditional music alive.

“People don’t play for money now, they play to bring joy to others and so the music survives,” he said.

“No force, no person, no system can silence its sound.”

– ‘Never lost’ –

Rubab player Majid was once a fixture of the many musical performances in the capital Kabul.

But he had not played the rubab for more than three years out of fear of being overheard, until one December afternoon when he picked up a rubab in a house near a street of now-shuttered music shops.

The lute-like rubab is one of the oldest instruments in the region but its heritage is threatened in Afghanistan under the Taliban authorities’ near-total ban on music

Smiling, he struck the strings but stopped abruptly as the courtyard door banged open, fearing it was Taliban forces.

The neck of his 35-year-old rubab was previously broken when morality police raided homes after the Taliban takeover.

He repaired it the best he could, and still regularly tends to his “dear rubab”, he said, gently running his hands over the instrument.

“As long as I live, I will keep it with me, and I hope my children will keep it… but no matter what, rubab culture will not be lost,” said the 46-year-old.

“Music is never lost. As they say, ‘There can never be a death without tears or a wedding without music’.”

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